Ultrasound #2

I had my second ultrasound today. We saw the sack, the yolk sack, and a tiny little embryo! She couldn't see the heartbeat. She says it starts beating around 6 weeks. I was exactly 6 weeks today. So she thought it could be a concern, or it couldn't. So I have ANOTHER beta done.

After about 4 hours of waiting for that darn call, the nurse called around 1:30. Beta came back at 6319. Progesterone was 41.3. She says the numbers look awesome. What a relief! So I go back in exactly 1 week. I will be exactly 7 weeks. Hopefully we will be able to see the heartbeat then. Lots of good vibes, prayers etc!

1st Ultrasound Fiasco

So today was our first ultrasound. I am 5 weeks 4 days. We were very excited. But, the RE said "Don't be alarmed, it's so early we may not see anything".

So we go in and the tech sets everything up...she says "By the wheel you are about 6 weeks. That may be off by 2 weeks. We should see a sack though. We might see the embryo and maybe a heartbeat". I already know 6 weeks is wrong since I know my exact ovulation date. But fine...proceed.

Again violated by the wand...she starts messing around. I usually know what the hell I am looking at but I was extremely confused. Then I saw what I "thought" was the sack. She looks around and says your left ovary is pretty big. It's filled with fluid and it looks like you have a cyst on it, but that is normal. She find the sack and says, "It's smaller than I would have expected at 6 weeks, but I think this is the yolk sack". After a few minutes of looking around, she says, "Ok I am satisfied with what I see at this point". She removes the wand and blood EVERYWHERE!

All I could think was, "Oh My God, it's happening again!". I said "OMG blood? That is NOT a good sign". She asks me if I have been bleeding at all. And I told her not since like 2 days before my last beta. This is a first, and it was tons.

Now the mood changes. She says get cleaned up. We are going to draw your blood and I want you to go to the imaging center. (Calling in the big dogs). She says "I want to get a better picture and see where the bleeding is coming from". Now my head is spinning, I look at DH who looks white and is seriously ready to vomit. I get cleaned up and they draw my blood. I am usually such a wimp with drawing blood. It always hurts. I felt NOTHING. I was numb. All I could think of was "I'm miscarrying, I can't believe this is happening" She gives me the paperwork to make the appointment for the imaging center, then we leave.

Fast forward about 45 minutes. I drop DH at the train station so he can go to work, and I go to work. I tell my boss I have a "follow-up" appointment again at 10:30.

So I go to the imaging center. They get me right in. I explain to the SUPER nice tech what is going on. I tell her I'm 5 weeks 4 days...not 6 weeks. I hadn't bled at all until the ultrasound at the RE. And I also tell her it stopped about 30-45 minutes after I left the RE. So I hop up and she starts to look around.

I immediately ask her "Can you tell me what you see?". She says no not really, the radiologist has to look at it, report to your doctor then they will tell you". Now I'm annoyed but I know it's not her fault.

She looks around for at least 20 minutes. Take all kind of pictures of stuff. She records the blood flow to my ovaries and lets me hear it. I wish she didn't because all I could think was "this is what I should be hearing next week". Finally at the end she shows me the sack and the yolk sack. She says it's still really early, and the blood work is going to be the key if everything is alright. I already knew this, but I hoped she would see SOMETHING. She wishes me the best of luck and says "I will have everything crossed for you". Best thing she could have told me. And I didn't bleed at the ultrasound! Score! So I leave there it's about 11:30 and go back to work.

Fast forward again to 3:00. RE's office calls. She says "Your blood work came back and it looks great, your beta is 1300. It has gone up nicely. The imaging center saw the same thing I saw. So RE wants you to come back again on Thursday for another ultrasound". So I ask her if my beta is normal for where I am, and she says "Yes it is".

So that is it. I get the scare of my life. I don't know what to think. I have no idea what Thursday will bring. So I sit in limbo until then. I am praying that this was just a scare and everything will be fine. I am hoping that we can see the fetal pole and maybe the heartbeat on Thursday. I will be exactly 6 weeks. I will have an update after my appointment on Thursday. We will take any prayers, vibes etc.

Telling the Parents...

So I told my parents on Wednesday the 17th. DH was in California. But, I just had to tell them. I couldn't keep such a huge secret from them. So I got two sets of booties (pink and blue) and two bibs. One said "I Love Grandma" the other "I Love Grandpa". So I got this shopping bag walked into the house and said oh you have to see these really "cute shoes" I bought. So they are both there...Mom grabs the bag....she looks in and jumps back...like there was a mouse in the bag...she takes out the booties and says "Oh my gosh how cute, who gave these to you?" I said "Seriously?" She says "No, really who gave these to you, the RE?" Now I laugh..I look at my dad who is smiling and obviously gets it already. But, he doesn't say anything and lets it sink in for her. I say "Mom look at the thing under the "shoes" ie the bibs...she grabs one and says out loud "I love Grandma". She looks up and says "No! Are you pregnant?" I couldn't even get the word "Yes" out. I just nodded my head she hugged me and we both started bawling. (My parents know all about our struggles).

Then DH came home on Friday morning. We told his parents on Sunday the 21st. We would have told then sooner, but we wanted DH home so we could tell them in person. For them, I got two bibs. One said "If Mommy says no, Ask Grandma". The other said "Rockstar". A bit of a backstory. DH's dad was in a band for a very long time, and he always wanted to be a "Rock Star". So we kid him all the time about how he thought he was going to be in the Rolling Stones. So very funny/appropriate bib.

So I put them both in a bag. DH handed his mom the bag and said "Melissa and I got you guys this gift". She digs in the bag. (She loves presents). She pulls out the "If mommy...bib" Same reaction..."No! Seriously! OMG!" Meanwhile his dad didn't see the bib and says "What is going on?". I start laughing like crazy, and she lets him in on what's going on.

So everyone is very excited. FYI DH and I are BOTH only children. So obviously this announcement was HUGE for our parents.

Beta #3 is in!

So I went for my third beta today. We are at 321! Progesterone was 30. So we have more than doubled in 2 days. They were looking for a 60% increase. So we are looking good so far. Our first ultrasound is schedueled for Monday morning. She already warned me that it will be so early, that they may not see anything yet. Hopefully we do. I am obviously worried sick!

So I will have an update Monday night!

Beta #2 = 143!

It's offical! We are actually pregnant! Our Beta shot up to 143. (Anyone who used a beeper back in the days...143 = I love you!)

I can't believe this. I am still numb to everything. DH was so surprised. His reaction? "Really? Are you sure? Is is definate?" LOL. He's so funny. Yes it's definate! I have to go back on Wednesday for another Beta to be sure my levels are doubling. They want to see a 60% increase every 2 days. Please pray this little bean sticks. I will be updating soon on how I told my parents. We planned on telling both sets this weekend. I just couldn't keep the news. Update soon!

Digital Says...."PREGNANT"!!!!!!!

So I took a digital test. They are supposed to be less sensitive than the FRER I originally took. I had already gone to the bathroom an hour before. But, I said why not? And um hello..."Pregnant" within seconds. I am freaking out right now. I am trying to tell myself this has to be a good sign since I took the test in the middle of the day after only 1 hour of holding it. But seriously, I'm still a nervous wreck. I won't allow myself to be happy until my Beta tomorrow.

I bought this bear for DH over 9 months ago. I saw it on a website, and thought it was such a cute way to tell him. Well obviously it's been put away for months. DH is now in Cali...so if my beta goes well tomorrow, I will be emailing him the picture. Not exactly how I had it planned, but I will take it.

So I will update tomorrow when I get my beta results.

Could it Be...Maybe?

I had sworn I would not test this cycle. I only tested at 10dpiui knowing fully well, I would get a negative. I tested with a friend since it was Grandparents Day. What a great day to tell our parents right? Well, BFN as expected. No biggie. Then I had my beta at 13 dpiui and it was a whopping 13 and I was already spotting. I was crushed and confused. I said to myself, this is more than likely another CP. Which is my opinion, is worse than a straight "It's negative" But I was still "Ok" since I knew we had a plan for our next cycle.

So I went about my business "knowing" AF would be here either Monday 9/15 (the day of my second beta) or soon thereafter. Imagine my shock when late Friday night my spotting just stopped. Then I went all day with no spotting. While mildly hopeful, I remembered that last month the same thing happened, then AF came and beta was negative. So I go about my business just waiting for Monday to get the beta over with and get my IVF calendar. But then yesterday afternoon my bb's started to really hurt. Now let me tell you, they ALWAYS hurt before AF. I am no fool to be bamboozled by "pregnancy symptoms" anymore. But, it was a different feeling. It was familiar actually. It was the same feeling I had last month. It's a different sore, more of heavy feeling. So against my better judgment, smack in the middle of the day I tested. And anyone TTC knows FMU is the holy grail of TTC and testing taking.

Um excuse me??? The line came up in seconds. I was literally still washing my hands when it came up. Seriously? This was a definite line, very dark. Last month it was soooooo light I had to hold it under the light to see it. So now I am totally confused AND excited. Could I have just had a late implanter? Could that spotting, have been implantation? If so, it was more like implantation bleeding! I have no idea. Of course I will be testing again today because now I just can't stop. I will probably take a digital Monday morning before the Beta. If it's + then at least it went up. I am pretty sure digitals detect HCG level of 50+...

Here is the kicker! DH is going to California today. He will be there until Friday. So if this does actually turn around, he won't even be here! This is totally not how I planned it in my mind. But we will definatly take it..

So more waiting. I will have an update for you tomorrow. Sticky and high beta vibes pleeeaasseee!

Beta = 13

I can't believe this is happening..AGAIN! My Beta was 13 today. This totally caught me off guard. I already had spotting, but no symptoms at all this month. I basically thought it didn't work this time. Imagine my surprise when the nurse called and said it was 13 this time. Last month it came back at 12. I already have some light spotting. This is not a good sign. I feel like this is just a repeat of last month. Why does my body keep doing this? Now I'm afraid there there is big problem. Did we have more miscarriages when we were trying in the beginning, and we just didn't know?

I talked to the RE and expressed my concern. He says that there is no explaination why this happened again, that it could turn around, but it is really low. He said that I will repeat my Beta on Monday. If AF shows today or tomorrow I will go in for baseline. I told him I wanted testing done before we move forward with IVF. I want to make sure everything is ruled out before I put my body through IVF, only to have this happen again. So now I just wait and see what happens. If this turns out to be another chemical pregnancy, we will do RPL testing, a slew of blood work, and a uterine biopsy before we move forward. I am hoping this turns around, but I know this will probaly not end well.

Moving to IVF

Seriously? OMG I am still wrapping my head around the idea. I had my consult with the RE. We talked for about an hour. He totally listened to what I had to say and how I felt. We talked about everything thus far, how I felt, how he felt. It was such a great dialogue. Basically if this IUI didn't work, we are moving to IVF. We are skipping Injectables completely for the following reasons:

1. Selective reduction is NOT an option for us. With injectables we are looking at 4-5 follies. He thinks we would be at risk for high order multiples. And, since we won't consider SR, this is not a good option for us.

2. I may have a blocked tube. MY HSG was done by my OB, and well he doesn't know if it was done very well. They "thought" they saw spillage on my right side but weren't sure. So we could have a blocked tube which could be linked to #4

3. DH's samples don't wash well. We keep losing more than 1/3 of the sample. They should really be higher to be successful. Highest we ever had was 11 million.

4. I had an apendectomy that may have something to with our IF.

With IVF we work around all these problems. I am still wrapping my head around all of this. But, I really do think this is right for us. IUI w/Injectables may very well put us in a postion to make a decision we are against or not comfortable with. With IVF we can't have more than twins. RE won't transfer more than 2 embryos. I talked to him about my only "problem" with IVF. What do we do with unused embryos? He said we probably won't have many or any to freeze. He will do a day 5 transfer. This way we have the best embryos to transfer, and probably will only have a few, if any to freeze. I was comfortable with this.

So that is it. I obviously hope AF doesn't show and IUI #3 worked. But if it didn't, I will be starting BCP when AF shows. We are looking at IVF in either October or November.

WOW! Just WOW!

Progesterone Checked Today

Had my progesterone checked today. It came back 24.7

This is lower than it normally has been. But, this is still a good number. This means nothing in regards to the IUI working or not. Just more waiting. Beta is next Wednesday 9/10.

But, we do have a consult with the RE tomorrow. I am really excited. We are going to talk next steps if this IUI didn't work. His initial plan was 3 injectable cycles after the Clomid. I wonder if he think this protocol is still for us. I am just excited that we can get some questions answered and we can pick his brain. I will update after our consult.